Friday, August 27, 2010

1238 : My child might not be a genius, blame our bloody eugenics and souped up “poroscopy”!!

 

11D49AAC91F756BF513685992E73B7 TH14_IIT_144050f

If you have  not heard of Avtar Tathagath Tulsi, you are obviously an ostrich who does not read/view media. The whole purpose of  the life of Tathagat and his spin doctor father seem to be conclusively intertwined with “how to project my child to be a genius”.

Its one hell of a hare brained scheme.

The ridiculousness of what the boy genius (who is coincidentally also a fully grown adult moron!!) is there to see and drool over.

Who else when asked

“Whats the most life altering experience in your life?” says

I read Stephen Hawking’s A brief history of time when I was 5, and that book changed my life completely.

(I read this book when I was 17, and I still did not understand it completely. I had read about 50 physics books before that).

You have to read Manu Joseph’s virtual murder of the guy at http://www.openthemagazine.com/article/voices/the-hilarious-case-of-avatar-tulsi

Other good rejoinders at Times (the idiots at Benett and Coleman wholeheartedly believe Tulsi is a genius!!)
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/I-was-programmed-to-be-a-genius/articleshow/6189283.cms
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/22-year-old-becomes-youngest-IIT-teacher/articleshow/6164969.cms

Most of all don’t miss the Man’s World Article. Its a rip roaring, hell raising, six flag journey of utter madness !! (I could not find it online, so have scanned it out for you folks. Click on the image to see a bigger readable version!!) I have also transcribed it below for the lazy bum in you !!

Tulsi_MW0001

Transcription

How to create a genius
Tips on concieving a genius from “boy wonder” Tathagat Tulsi’s father. By Jaideep Dave (from Man’s world – a brilliant local magazine)

Last month, Patna born Tathagat Avtar Tulsi (TAT), 22, who completed his MSC at the age of 12 and made the cut at the Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore at the tender age of 15, joined the IITB physics department and became the youngest ever assistant professor, at the hallowed institute.

If you ask his father, Tusli Prasad, he would probably tell you, that this was completely expected, perhaps even predicted. Recent reports in some Indian newspapers had Prasad claiming that he had “programmed his son to be a genius” even before he was born.

MW caught up with the 63 year old Supreme court lawyer and  former history professor, to find out more about his “genius programme”. Prasad did not reveal much about his “programming language”, saying he would only reveal it, if the government assured him of credit, but he did give us a fair idea about the methodology of a)planning a male(or female) child and b)a genius.

Fingerprinting.
The first step to create a genius child, is to take a fingerprint of both husband and wife, says Prasad. He advocates putting the fingerprint under a microscope - “to get to the pores”. “Fingerprints give a blueprint of the human body. Every person has a unique fingerprint, which is why sleuths use fingerprints to catch criminals”.

Types of Pores.
Through fingerprint analysis, Prasad says he can see the type of pores and their shape, which helps him make inferences about the chromosomes, body structure, skills and even “character” of a human being. “I have theorized that through food and diet proteins you can influence sex chromosomes, and make the x or y chromosome powerful, and thus plan for  a male or female child.”
The main thing here, says Prasad, is which protein – rather which protein combo – influences which chromosome. Even characteristics like height, intelligence etc. which are carried in Chromosomes can be influenced. The framework of his theory, he says, is based on ancient Indian scriptures and science.

Subtle truth.
Prasad metaphysical theory says there are two subtle factors that govern all life. “Bhaav” (roughly translated as emotion) and “buddhi” (roughly translated as intelligence).. He says through fingerprint analysis, he can discern what sort of mood your dad (or your mom) was in, when you were being conceived. “Was your dad dreaming that was he having sex with Hema Malini while you were being conceived”. I say “Well, I don’t think so.”. I use “your”as an indefinite pronoun”, he shoots back. The best way to expound this theory is to hear about Prasad’s own life, which by any standards is a grand experiment.

Population Control.
Prasad’s curiosity about biology was kindled when Hara Gobind Khorana, co won the noble prize for medicine, for his interpretation of his genetic code and its function in protein synthesis in 1968. He started exploring Vedic scriptures for insight into genetics thereafter. Whole working as a history professor at Maithila university, Devusarai, Bihar, in 1974, he “wrote a letter to united nations, at the time it was having a world population conference”. Prasad says he wrote about his “poroscopy” method which could help couples obtain the desired sex for their offspring.
The reply he got from UN “encouraged him”, but they asked him to carry out his research in India. He wanted a lab and a few experts to test his theories, but since no support was forthcoming, he decided to make himself and his future family guinea pigs.

Marriage.
All the genetic professors from Patna university challenges my background. They said how can a history professor talk about biology. To prove them wrong, I decided to marry a woman from Nisherpura, a region in Bihar where female child births dominated. “Who are these professors and what happened to them?”, I ask him. “They are all dead”, he says.

Seed Capital.
After the right woman is “sourced”, says Prasad, you need to make her ready to receive your sperm. If you want to create genius, he says, there has to be “deservation”. “I subjected my wife to diet programme. Most people don’t know how to even source the right woman, let alone practice right sex.” Between 1978, the year he got married, and 1983, he turned her from a non vegetarian, into a vegetarian, and cleansed her body. He too followed a strict regime, a routine he still sticks to. Prasad has a bath before sunrise, then walks 5 kms, and then has a very light breakfast.

Topography.
After marriage, Prasad and his wife moved to his hometown Gaya. “Mumbai has a lot of miscarriages, Delhi too has. But Kolhapur for intance has very few. Every place has its own influence”.

Three son.
Prasad says he did not have sex with his wife till 1982. His first son, Pitamaheswar, was born in 1983 and is a MA from Delhi university. “My critics said this male child was a fluke and hence I decided to have a second son to prove them wrong.” His second son Vishwapurush was born in 1985, and has completed his LLB from Delhi univ. Tathagat, his third son was born in 1987. “So why did you decide to make only the third child a genius? How come they did not turn out all as bright as Tathagat, I ask him.?” “They are all geniuses”, he says, “in their own way”.

Mixology.
Before and during his wife’s pregnancies, says Prasad, he influenced his own and his wife’s body through a judicious use of proteins. “I created a mix of various dals…Every dal has different mixture of folic acid and protein, is the aadi shakti of the body”, he says, showing me his notes on the prescribed mélange of proteins. One of his charts goes like this : “Chana dal, 20.8 gms in 100 gms, kulti dal 43.2 gms in 100 gms…..”

Silken Touch.
”Even the temperature matter”, says Prasad, especially when the woman is pregnant, “My wife was wearing silk undergarments, because silk has a positive influence on blood circulation”. Outside of course you can wear whatever you want, he adds. “Were you also wearing silk underwear?”, I ask him. “Bhaiya, yeh  bhi kuch puchne ki baat huyi?” (Do you even need to ask?), says Prasad.

Child’s stuff.
The first seven years after the birth of a child are crucial, says Prasad, and can help parents decide on a suitable profession for him or her. “The potential is there, but the onus is on the parents to read it. If your mom and dad knew my theory, they would have probably driven you towards IAS or science instead of journalism. Through Tathagat’s fingerprint analysis, I was able to read his potential”.

Related Posts by Categories



Widget by Hoctro | DreamyDonkey

2 comments:

satish said...

silk undergarments.. haha funniest thing I've heard in a long time :)

Mr Bojangles said...

uff.. poor chap! must've had quite a sad childhood.. wonder what he'll remember when he's 30.

hope he gets out of his dad's influence soon.