Thursday, April 29, 2010

1105 : The camel whose water back broke him

I was talking to someone last week who I must admit, I did not know well enough. He's been working for about 13 years, 9 of which were at NY and 4 were at India.

So he comes back and tells me, he feels "unsettled"...and feels the need to "settle". Usually in an Indian context "settling" means marrying (and "clearing" means divorcing....heehaw....just invented the last bit there :-)

I knew though, that he was in some sense married. Not knowing him enough, I did push for the details - but did ask him "what does he mean by settling".

"Time to buy a house."

Me - "So is the availability an issue".

"No, its just that if I spend money on a house all I shall be left with is xyz as savings left at the bank. And I am not comfortable with that."

(Now xyz was a sum larger than my annual salary and probably 15 times more than the amount I currently have in my bank account.)

Further conversation revealed that he had "two" kids - both in their school - and he feared for them not having the best in life - if he chose to buy the house.

(Remember, I barely know him, so I had to keep distance even while talking).

In summary, it was his "camel syndrome" (do I have enough water in my back for a rainy day?) that was killing him, making him unhappy and "unsettled".

I am very unequivocal in my head on this topic. Money is a means to wealth, to a right on bits of the earth, to buy yourself a "life" experience. Money in the bank is useless, to the degree that its almost a dis-respect to "life" - a denial of "experiences".

I too have cash in bank to survive a month or two - should something go wrong, but thats where it ends. If the "problem" continues for longer - my view is, if I am just as resourceful, as I am today, then I shall figure it out. I have been bankrupt twice in my "limited" lifespan....and both times - I dont think I could have controlled the bankruptcy or my coming out of it - a variety of external forces conspired with(and against me) for either of those results.

My learnings from those personal lows has been to tell myself - that "too much planning" in these issues, usually in fact, ends up significantly impacting your ability to deal with "uncertainty" - which strangely enough - is why you wanted the "cash" security in the bank account anyways.

I have often been told - add "kids" into the equation and your perspective will change. I hope for my own good, that is just a decoy. I continue to want to glare back at life, stare back at bankruptcy, and holler back at disease and degeneration - because I know, in my heart - the day I stop doing any of these - I shall begin the process of "personal dying".

In summary, my (possibly naive) view of life is - stumble, tumble, dont grumble, but let it rumble.....

Related Posts by Categories

Widget by Hoctro | DreamyDonkey

No comments: